by Lynn Kim Do

It's not you, 2018. It's me.

I think there’s one thing we can agree on about 2018. There were A LOT of changes. And instinctively, almost every fiber in me wants to just rip 2018 a new one. Say some shit I may later regret. Blame it for every bad decision I made. Forget it's existence. Wow...there's some shit I need to unpack there. But the better, more 27-year-old-ish of me will NOT do that. Because it hasn't been that bad...

I mean, personally, this is the year that I’ve fully realized my soul’s calling — acting. This is the year I rekindled a relationship with a family I thought I had lost and gained some more along the way. And that also includes my extended family in Philly too. The year I moved in with my boyfriend. This is the year I worked on production projects completely autonomously. The year I went full freelance. The year I gained two more body art inks. The year I realized I HATE work trips. And loved soul trips. And the year I finally enjoyed whiskey. But not Hennessy (I’ll keep trying).

So much more has happened this year that my list feels like it can go on and on. And I’m putting a very conscious effort in focusing on the many things that went right this year, the many things that taught me grave lessons this year, and the many things that make me very human this year. And I have to tell you, it’s not an easy task. The easier thing to do is to throw away this year and put it in the “Shit Pile”. But if it’s one thing I see myself saying over and over again in the past month to my friends and to myself when things feel tough is that the best things are not necessarily the easy thing. And so, I challenge you. I challenge you to look at your photo album in your phone and see how many time you’ve genuinely smiled. Or made someone else smile. I bet it’s more than you remember. I know I forgot. I went through it a few hours ago and I felt completely taken by surprise on what I saw. It’s like I forgot all of the beautiful people around me during the year. I forgot how many times I danced until my legs went numb or drank way too much through tears of laughter or did something completely challenging. It’s like my minded wanted to be miserable or was trying to overachieve or maybe it is plain right forgetful. Either way, I chose not to be forgetful. I chose to be happy. So, I also challenge you to remember the one or maybe three times this year you felt accomplished, or brave, or more yourself than ever.

And I can sit here and say 2019 is going to be better. It’s going to be epic. It’s going to be a million things. I don’t know, I can’t see the future. But fuck it, I wanna say something I know for sure was a fact. 2018 wasn’t that bad. It was actually pretty damn good. And I got a good ass feeling about 2019. Only one way to find out…


Images by Andrew Morales
Jewelry by Latasha Lamar