by Lynn Kim Do

How to Handle a Dry Spell?

flowy dress outfit

Strappy dress ootd

dress ootd flowy

Confession: This is a misleading because this suggests that I actually *know* how to handle a dry spell. LAUGH OUT LOUD.

I don’t know if I have a significant grasp on it but I’m trying and that’s at least an improvement from last month when I was a hot mess. If you can’t already tell, I’m was..or still am in this so-called “dry spell” right now.

Okay, so what the heck is a dry spell? I’m not talking about the dry spell downstairs. Ahem…not the sexual dry spells. I’m referring to the professional dry spell, the “dream” dry spell. When things fall too quiet, when no one seems to be answering any doors you’re knocking on, when the lights are even shut off when you come around the corner, when the tough, well…gets even tougher, when the usual homies are a bit too busy to listen to you vent about “nothing” or “something” or “anything”, when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed four days in a row now, when everyone seems so goddamn happy and you’re over here trying to just survive the next 15 minutes while a smelly old guy is sweating over you in the subway. Get my drift?

How to Handle a Dry Spell:

First off, lets lower the volume of the voice in your head that is getting dangerously loud. Yeah the one talking right about now. It’s dismissive, condescending, and hello...ruuuuudeeeee. Personally, this has been the most challenging task for me. I’m in constant communication with myself during dry spells. I’m always questioning my thoughts — “Is this troubling thought existing out of fear or stemming from logic?” The trick is also to do the dismissing quickly. Identify and dismiss. Don’t let it marinate in your brain because it’ll multiply and next thing you know, you’re in an abyss of self loathe and swarmed by doubt. Look, I am always talking to myself like a LOCA over here but it’s necessary.

Here are a few examples to challenge those “bad thoughts” :

i.e.: “Ugh, I feel so ugly this morning! Look at this giant pimple on my face!!!! UGLY UGLY UGLY!”

Think: Welp, fuck it. Can’t do anything about that pimple right now but what I can do is put on this most amazing outfit right now. AOOW AOOOWWWW! Lookin’ good girl! *wink*

i.e. “I have not made any progress in my job. I was late to work twice this week. I’m totally gonna get fired.”
Think: STOP IT RN. Remember that last achievement you had? That major A++++++++ moment in your life. Yeah, you did that. You nailed it. You’re just taking a break…bitch, you need it cause next week or next month, you’re going to wish you had taken advantage of this break.

i.e.: “I am so fucking lazyyyyyyy. I have told myself that I’m going to ___insert_creative_project____ and I haven’t even started. I don’t deserve to be happy. So many people deserve this job/position/lifestyle more than me. No wonder I don’t get anywhere.”
Think: Woah woah, slow down, you animal. Remember that week you pulled three 14 hour shifts or barely slept? You’re a hard worker. You deserve all the happiness in the world. But you are being a lazy bitch, so get out __insert_platform__ and DO SOMETHING. Anything, even if it is just jotting ideas or walking around for further inspiration. As long as you just BEGIN IT because honestly, that’s the hardest part.

stylish couple

i.e.: “I’m not good enough.”
Calls up friend (or boyfriend, or mother, or sister, or human, or talk to some stranger in an elevator) and say, “Hey, I’m having a hard day and I just want to vent. Can I just unload on you real quick?” I don’t know how many times I've did that and it becomes the therapeutic release I needed. And your friend would be more than happy to be relied on, to help out, to share something so intimate with you. OR maybe this friend is busy and can’t chat at the moment. Listen, it doesn’t mean this friend doesn’t love you or they’re a bad friend. But, you’re going to then have to be your own best friend and give yourself the most loving hug, the most forgiving gestures of kindness, and the most soft words of rehabilitation. Because no one knows what you need more than yourself. And no one is as generous as you. Nor is anyone as good of a friend as you. So give yourself that.

i.e. “Why does this person hate me?” or “Why is this person ghosting me” or “Why does this agent now answer me back?’
Fuck all of them. You did the best you could in this two way relationship. (Did you? If you didn,t make an effort.) The universe did you a favor and removed this person from your life. Take it as a gift. Mourn the loss preferably over a sip of wine. And move on. Don’t let negative energy seep in your pores and take you away from meeting the “right one”. These people don’t have the right to take you away from being the best version of “you”. You know the best revenge? Happiness. Success. And they’re going to feel it when you are crushing it at life. 

Best of luck my fellow dreamers. It's tough out here, but remember, I'm always right there with you.

Outfit details: Rhea Dress by Allina Liu / Dr Scholl's Classic Sandals / Daisy Chain Necklace by Emily Levine Milan via Catbird